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Time Stands Still
Truth It’s been about two and a half weeks since my last post. I typically write an entry once a week, and have found this to be beneficial for both myself and my readers. I’m sure some of you would...
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Cautiously Optimistic
Scans are scary. And the week before and after are often anxiety-filled whirlwinds. I received a CT scan a couple of weeks ago. You might remember that directly following my November surgery to remove...
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Defeated. Triumphant. Confused.
One month before diagnosis. Completely unaware of what was to come. (December 2011) It’s been about a week since my very last chemotherapy treatment, and I’m feeling different than I expected....
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Cancer Etiquette
Is there really such a thing as “cancer etiquette?” The answer is a booming “Yes!” I have been asked frequently about what not to say to someone going through a cancer battle, and have decided to...
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Breaking the Bubble via Dude Ranch
Entry to the ranch. (May 2013) Am I the only one who feels stuck inside of a bubble oftentimes? Maybe you don’t get out very much, stay inside a small radius of your home, or haven’t experienced as...
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Disease VS Diagnosis
Trusting in something bigger. (May 2013) I have come to the realization that for the last 16 months I have only faced my disease (cancer), rather than coming head on with my diagnosis. This is not...
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No Hair, Don’t Care
Sometimes, as a cancer patient, you want to blend in with the crowd. Blend in with those around you who have hair. Because, after all, being bald attracts attention and unwanted stares. Being bald...
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In Tears, There is Strength
Grief: (n) “Keen mental suffering or distress over affliction or loss; sharp sorrow; painful regret.” Loss: (n) “The state or feeling of grief when deprived of someone or something of value.” These...
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Unexpected Early Results
Yesterday morning, I woke up early and drove to the hospital for my three-month follow-up CT scan. Generally I have a fair share of “scanxiety,” yet that morning was different. Maybe my nerves were...
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Faithful Friends and The First Season
Alongside us on this crazy roller coaster through cancer, two of our dearest friends have been planted. They have joined us at appointments, surgeries, chemo cocktails, and numerous cry sessions. They...
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Hello, My Name Is…
Stephanie. 26 years old. Christian. Woman. Wife. Daughter. Sister. Friend. This is who I was before my diagnosis. And, as I’m learning, this is who I still am. (February 2012) Cancer does a lot to a...
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Life List
It’s been a while since I’ve poured words into this blog. I suppose I’ve gotten swept up in the seemingly never-ending voyage of rediscovering what life looks like now. I feel like this process could...
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30 Days
30 days until the beginning of a new voyage. Arising while the sun is still in slumber. Lacing up shoes and adorning the best running gear. Treading outside, nervous, and anxious for the impending...
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Being Still Amidst Scanxiety
Yesterday I made the familiar walk into my second home. The hospital. I hadn’t been through those doors in over three months, and the typically all familiar halls were strangely foreign this time. For...
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Our Plan, His Will
These past few days have been entirely orchestrated by God, of that I am sure. Tuesday night, our church had it’s monthly women’s event, and I was asked to be a small group leader for the evening. One...
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Not So Fast
(Guest post by Matt) Stephanie and I have spent a few days in the hospital, and she seems to have been progressing better than she has after previous surgeries. When they rolled her out of the post-op...
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Groundhog Day
The one with Bill Murray, not Punxsutawney Phil. Getting cancer over, and over, and over again is comparable to the movie Groundhog Day. One season ends and I wake up expecting a new one to begin, only...
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The Question of Depression
I’ll admit it. I’ve been MIA for the past month. My absence was not intentional. I just couldn’t get the words out into my blog. However, it was nothing like writer’s block. It was much deeper. I...
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Cancerland
A place where chemo drips freely. Hair is a rare sight to be seen. Tubes, treatment, and trials are common occurrences. Hospital bands are shackles bound to the arms of warriors. And cancer is...
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Arm’s Length: The Distance Between Friendship and Cancer
(As appeared in The Huffington Post on 1/28/14) Cancer scares people. It’s the disease that no one wants to get, no one wants to talk about, and no one has a cure for. It brings the crazies out of the...
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